Jeux solo vs jeux multijoueurs : comment les casinos modernes allient socialisation, programmes de fidélité et sécurité des paiements cet été

May 19th, 2026

L’été 2024 marque une nouvelle ère pour les casinos en ligne : les plateformes ne se contentent plus d’offrir des machines à sous ou du poker, elles créent de véritables espaces numériques où le divertissement se mêle à la communauté. Les joueurs profitent du soleil pour jouer depuis leur terrasse, leur piscine ou leur café, et les opérateurs répondent avec des interfaces plus fluides, des promotions saisonnières et des solutions de paiement ultra‑sécurisées.

Dans ce contexte, le contraste entre les jeux solo – comme les slots à thème tropical, le vidéo‑poker ou les jeux de grattage – et les formats multijoueurs – tables de live dealer, tournois de craps en ligne ou championnats de poker – devient un critère de choix déterminant. Pour découvrir les meilleures applications mobiles, les lecteurs peuvent consulter l’appli casino en ligne qui recense les options les plus fiables du marché.

Cet article examine comment les programmes de fidélité et les exigences de sécurité des paiements influencent la préférence des joueurs entre ces deux univers, tout en mettant en lumière les tendances qui façonnent l’été des jeux de casino.

1. L’attraction du jeu solo : liberté, rapidité et personnalisation

Les jeux solo restent le pilier des casinos en ligne. Les slots vidéo comme “Sunrise Paradise” (RTP = 96,5 %) offrent des graphismes haute définition, 5 rouleaux, 20 lignes de paiement et des multiplicateurs jusqu’à 10 x. Le vidéo‑poker « Jacks or Better » séduit les puristes grâce à son taux de retour élevé et à la possibilité de choisir la mise par main.

Avantages perçus
– Contrôle total du rythme : le joueur démarre, s’arrête ou ajuste la mise en quelques clics.
– Absence de pression sociale : aucune interaction, idéal pour les sessions nocturnes ou les moments de concentration.
– Paramètres de mise personnalisables : limites de mise, nombre de lignes actives, volatilité réglable.

Ces atouts se traduisent directement dans les programmes de fidélité. Les opérateurs attribuent souvent points bonus pour chaque 10 € misés, avec des offres « daily spin » qui offrent un tour gratuit supplémentaire chaque jour de connexion.

Cependant, la rapidité des transactions expose à des risques spécifiques. Les micro‑débits fréquents peuvent entraîner des fraudes de double‑débit ou des tentatives de chargeback. Les casinos modernes contrecarrent ces menaces en intégrant des systèmes de détection de fraude en temps réel, des limites de dépôt quotidiennes et des vérifications de carte bancaire à chaque transaction suspecte.

2. Le jeu multijoueur : créer du lien autour de la table virtuelle

Le multijoueur transforme le simple acte de miser en une expérience communautaire. Les tables de live dealer – roulette, blackjack ou baccarat – sont diffusées en haute définition, avec des croupiers réels qui interagissent via chat vocal ou texte. Les tournois de slots, comme le “Summer Splash Tournament”, rassemblent jusqu’à 1 000 participants qui s’affrontent pour le jackpot du jour.

Valeur ajoutée du facteur social :
– Chat en temps réel avec émoticônes, permettant aux joueurs de célébrer un gain ou de commenter une main.
– Salons thématiques d’été où les avatars portent des maillots de bain virtuels, renforçant le sentiment d’appartenance.
– Classements publics qui stimulent la compétitivité et incitent à des sessions plus longues.

Les programmes de fidélité reconnaissent cet engagement. Les badges communautaires sont décernés aux joueurs qui participent à cinq tournois consécutifs, tandis que le cash‑back sur les pertes de tournoi peut atteindre 10 % pour les membres VIP.

Sur le plan de la sécurité, les salles de jeu en direct exigent une authentification forte (2FA) avant d’accéder aux tables, afin de prévenir les usurpations de compte. De plus, les données de chat sont chiffrées avec le protocole TLS 1.3, garantissant que les conversations privées ne puissent être interceptées.

3. Les programmes de fidélité : le fil rouge entre solo et multijoueur

Un programme de fidélité typique se décline en trois niveaux : Bronze, Argent et Or. Chaque niveau offre un pourcentage de points de conversion plus élevé (1 % → 2 % → 3 %) et des récompenses exclusives comme des tours gratuits, des bonus de dépôt ou des invitations à des événements privés.

Aspect Jeu solo Jeu multijoueur
Points par € misé 1 pt 1,5 pt
Bonus quotidien 10 tours gratuits 5 % cash‑back sur tournoi
Accès à promotions Oui, promos “daily spin” Oui, tournois “Summer Splash”
Risque de fraude Micro‑transactions fréquentes Gros dépôts ponctuels

En été, les casinos lancent des promotions « Summer Splash » qui offrent des sun‑bonus : 20 % de dépôt supplémentaire valable uniquement pendant les week‑ends de juillet. Les joueurs qui combinent slots solo et tournois multijoueurs voient leurs points s’accumuler plus rapidement, car chaque activité débloque un multiplicateur de points pendant les heures creuses.

Avant tout retrait, les opérateurs valident l’identité du joueur (KYC) et confirment le solde via une vérification de gains. Cette étape, souvent automatisée, protège contre les fraudes et assure la conformité aux régulations anti‑blanchiment.

4. Sécurité des paiements : pourquoi elle est le socle de la confiance des joueurs

En 2024, la sécurité des paiements repose sur trois piliers : le cryptage TLS, la tokenisation des cartes et la conformité aux normes PSD2 et PCI‑DSS. Les portefeuilles électroniques (e‑wallets) stockent un jeton unique qui remplace le numéro de carte, rendant les interceptions inutiles.

Les risques diffèrent selon le type de jeu. Les micro‑transactions des slots solo, souvent de 0,10 € à 2 €, exposent à des tentatives de fraude par script qui automatisent les dépôts et retraits. Les tournoires multijoueurs, quant à eux, impliquent des gros dépôts (souvent > 500 €) pour accéder aux buy‑ins, augmentant le risque de vol de compte.

Les solutions de paiement intégrées aux programmes de fidélité permettent aux joueurs de convertir leurs points en credits de jeu ou même en cryptomonnaies via des wallets dédiés. Cette fonctionnalité réduit le nombre de transferts bancaires et limite l’exposition des données bancaires.

Bonnes pratiques estivales :
– Utiliser un VPN fiable lorsqu’on joue sur un réseau public.
– Activer les alertes SMS pour chaque dépôt ou retrait.
– Vérifier que le site affiche le cadenas vert et le certificat SSL valide.

5. L’influence du mobile : l’appli casino en ligne comme vecteur social et sécurisé

L’été pousse les joueurs à sortir leurs smartphones. Une étude non officielle de Gamblinginsider indique que les sessions mobiles augmentent de 27 % pendant les mois de juillet‑août. Les applications dédiées offrent des streams live intégrés, permettant de suivre une partie de roulette en temps réel tout en jouant à des slots en arrière‑plan.

Fonctionnalités sociales de l’appli :
– Invitations à des parties privées via un lien unique.
– Possibilité de créer des groupes de jeu avec des amis et de partager des gains en temps réel.
– Notifications push pour les tournois flash et les bonus “sun‑bonus”.

La sécurité des paiements mobiles s’appuie sur Apple Pay, Google Pay et la biométrie (empreinte digitale, reconnaissance faciale). Chaque transaction génère un token dynamique qui n’est valable que pour cette opération, éliminant le besoin de saisir le numéro de carte.

L’application synchronise également le programme de fidélité : les points accumulés sur le web apparaissent instantanément sur le mobile, et les promotions saisonnières sont affichées en temps réel, incitant le joueur à profiter de chaque opportunité avant la fin de l’été.

6. Études de cas : deux casinos qui ont réussi la fusion solo/multijoueur cet été

Casino A – “Tropical Spins”
– Focus sur des slots à thème tropical (ex. : “Beach Treasure”, RTP = 97,2 %).
– Bonus “solo summer” : 50 tours gratuits pour tout dépôt de 20 € entre le 1 juillet et le 31 août.
– Programme de fidélité « Sun Club » offrant 1 pt par € misé en solo, avec un multiplicateur de 2 x les week‑ends.
– Sécurité renforcée grâce à une authentification à deux facteurs et à la tokenisation des cartes.

Casino B – “LivePoker Oasis”
– Tournois de poker en direct avec tableau de classement communautaire affiché 24 h/24.
– Cash‑back fidélité de 12 % sur les pertes de tournoi pour les membres Gold.
– Promotion “Beach Bash” : bonus de dépôt de 30 % et 5 % de cashback supplémentaire pendant les soirées du vendredi.
– Gestion des paiements via un wallet interne qui convertit les points en euros, réduisant les retraits frauduleux.

Résultats (juillet‑août) :
– Casino A a vu son ARPU passer de 45 € à 58 €, grâce à l’augmentation des sessions solo et aux promotions quotidiennes.
– Casino B a enregistré un taux de rétention de 68 % parmi les joueurs de tournoi, avec une hausse de 22 % des dépôts moyens (≈ 350 €).

Le facteur commun : une sécurité des paiements transparente, qui rassure les joueurs lorsqu’ils passent du slot solo à la table de poker en direct.

7. Tendances à surveiller pour l’automne : IA, métavers et nouvelles formes de fidélité

L’automne 2024 verra l’IA jouer un rôle central dans la personnalisation des offres. Les algorithmes analyseront le RTP préféré, la volatilité et le temps moyen de session pour proposer des bonus ciblés (ex. : 20 % de dépôt supplémentaire sur les slots à haute volatilité).

Les premiers tests de tables de jeu en réalité virtuelle permettent aux joueurs de se retrouver autour d’une table de blackjack dans un décor de plage virtuelle. Cette immersion crée de nouvelles opportunités sociales, mais impose des exigences de latence ultra‑basse et de chiffrement de bout en bout pour protéger les conversations et les transactions.

Les programmes de fidélité évoluent vers des tokens NFT qui donnent accès à des événements exclusifs, à des skins d’avatar ou à des jackpots privés. La gamification avancée introduit des quêtes hebdomadaires (ex. : “remporter 5 000 € en cash‑back”) et des niveaux dynamiques qui s’ajustent en fonction du comportement du joueur.

Côté sécurité, les opérateurs adoptent l’authentification comportementale (analyse du rythme de frappe, de la navigation) et le modèle Zero‑Trust qui ne fait confiance à aucun composant du réseau sans vérification continue. Ces mesures visent à protéger les joueurs contre les attaques de type Man‑in‑the‑Middle et les tentatives de phishing sophistiquées.

Conclusion

Cet été, les casinos en ligne démontrent que le jeu solo et le jeu multijoueur ne sont pas des mondes opposés, mais des expériences complémentaires renforcées par des programmes de fidélité intelligents et une sécurité des paiements inébranlable. Les promotions estivales, les interactions sociales via les applications mobiles et les protections avancées créent un écosystème où le divertissement et la confiance cohabitent.

Les opérateurs qui souhaitent capitaliser sur cet engouement doivent continuer à offrir des sun‑bonus attractifs, à enrichir les salons de discussion et à garantir que chaque dépôt ou retrait soit sécurisé à 100 %. Pour découvrir les meilleures offres et rester informé, n’hésitez pas à consulter l’« appli casino en ligne » et à suivre les ressources proposées par Gamblinginsider. Restez vigilant, jouez de façon responsable, et profitez pleinement de la chaleur estivale tout en protégeant vos fonds.

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Roulette en ligne en Europe : pourquoi les VIP offrent de meilleures chances que le Strip de Las Vegas

December 28th, 2025

La roulette connaît une renaissance numérique. En 2023, plus de 65 % des joueurs européens déclarent avoir essayé une version en ligne, séduits par la fluidité des dépôts, la variété des variantes et la possibilité de jouer à tout moment. Cette croissance contraste avec le mythe du « Strip » de Las Vegas, où les tables physiques restent emblématiques mais où les limites de mise et les programmes de fidélité sont souvent moins généreux.

Pour découvrir les meilleurs casinos qui proposent des retraits immédiats, consultez le guide du casino en ligne retrait immédiat.

Dans cet article, nous nous concentrerons sur l’impact des programmes de fidélité VIP sur les probabilités de gain, les limites de mise et les bonus associés. En nous appuyant sur des données de régulateurs, des études de cas et des analyses internes, nous démontrerons comment les joueurs VIP en ligne bénéficient d’un avantage statistique réel face aux tables traditionnelles du Strip.

1. Les fondamentaux de la roulette : règles, probabilités et taux de redistribution

La roulette européenne comporte 37 cases (0‑36), alors que la version américaine ajoute un double zéro (00) pour 38 cases. Cette différence de zéro réduit le House Edge de 2,70 % à 5,26 % et fait grimper le taux de redistribution (RTP) de la version américaine à 94,74 % contre 97,30 % pour l’européenne.

Le calcul du RTP repose sur la probabilité de chaque issue :

[
\text{RTP} = \sum_{i=1}^{n} \frac{\text{gain net}{i}}{\text{mise} \times P(i)}
]

En pratique, les opérateurs européens déclarent un RTP moyen de 97,3 % pour la roulette européenne, tandis que les casinos terrestres de Vegas affichent généralement 95,0 % à 96,0 % après prise en compte des commissions de salle.

Plateforme Variante RTP déclaré Source
Casino en ligne (ex. Betway) Européenne 97,30 % Rapport UK Gambling Commission 2022
Casino terrestre Las Vegas Européenne 95,80 % Étude de l’Nevada Gaming Control Board 2021
Casino en ligne (ex. LeoVegas) Américaine 94,70 % Rapport de l’Autorité Nationale des Jeux 2023

Ces chiffres, publiés par les autorités de régulation européennes et nord‑américaines, montrent que la simple différence de zéro a déjà un impact mesurable sur les chances du joueur.

2. Comment les casinos en ligne construisent leurs programmes VIP

Les programmes VIP sont structurés en niveaux progressifs : Bronze, Silver, Gold, Platinum et Diamond. Chaque palier exige une mise cumulée ou un nombre de sessions jouées plus important. Par exemple, atteindre le statut Silver peut nécessiter 5 000 € de mises mensuelles, tandis que le niveau Platinum requiert souvent plus de 30 000 €.

Les récompenses varient selon le niveau :

  • Cashback : de 5 % à 20 % des pertes nettes.
  • Bonus sans dépôt : 10 € à 50 € crédités automatiquement.
  • Limites de mise accrues : les tables “High Roller” deviennent accessibles dès le rang Platinum.
  • RTP boosté : certains opérateurs offrent un taux de redistribution supérieur de 0,2 % à 2,2 % pour les jeux de roulette.

Une enquête indépendante réalisée en 2023 auprès de 2 500 joueurs VIP révèle que :

  • 5 % atteignent le niveau Gold ou supérieur.
  • 1,2 % franchissent le rang Platinum.
  • Les joueurs Diamond représentent moins de 0,1 % mais génèrent plus de 25 % du volume de mise total.

Ces statistiques illustrent la rareté des hauts niveaux et la valeur économique que les opérateurs attribuent à leurs meilleurs clients.

3. Le boost de RTP offert aux joueurs VIP : chiffres et exemples concrets

Betway, LeoVegas et Mr Green sont parmi les opérateurs européens qui annoncent publiquement un RTP « VIP » allant jusqu’à 99,5 % sur la roulette européenne. Voici comment cela se traduit en pratique :

  • RTP standard : 97,30 %
  • RTP VIP Gold : 98,10 % (+0,80 %)
  • RTP VIP Platinum : 99,00 % (+1,70 %)
  • RTP VIP Diamond : 99,50 % (+2,20 %)

Étude de cas : un joueur Gold mise 10 000 € sur 100 tours de roulette européenne (mise moyenne de 100 €). Sans boost, l’espérance de gain est :

[
10 000 € \times (1 – 0,027) = 9 730 €
]

Avec un boost de +0,80 % et un cashback de 10 % sur les pertes, le calcul devient :

[
10 000 € \times (1 – 0,019) = 9 810 € \
\text{Cashback} = 0,10 \times (10 000 € – 9 810 €) = 19 €
]

Gain net ≈ 9 829 €, soit une amélioration de 99 € (≈ 1 % supplémentaire).

Graphique descriptif : une barre verticale illustrerait le RTP de base (97,3 %), le RTP Gold (+0,8 %), le RTP Platinum (+1,7 %) et le RTP Diamond (+2,2 %). Une ligne pointillée représenterait le gain net attendu pour une mise de 10 000 € à chaque niveau, montrant l’écart croissant.

4. Limites de mise et flexibilité : pourquoi les tables VIP en ligne surpassent le Strip

En ligne, les limites sont ajustables en fonction du statut VIP. Un joueur Bronze peut commencer à 1 € min / 500 € max, tandis qu’un Platinum bénéficie d’une plage de 100 € à 10 000 €.

Exemple concret : la table “High Roller” de LeoVegas autorise une mise maximale de 10 000 € dès le niveau Platinum, alors que le même type de table sur le Strip impose généralement un plafond de 5 000 €. Cette différence permet aux gros parieurs de placer des mises plus agressives tout en restant dans les règles du casino.

Statistiques d’utilisation : selon les logs internes de Mr Green, les joueurs qui utilisent les limites supérieures (≥ 5 000 €) affichent un taux de gain moyen de 0,4 % et une volatilité de 1,8, contre 0,2 % et 1,2 pour les limites inférieures.

Témoignage anonymisé d’un professionnel : « J’ai migré mes sessions de Vegas vers une plateforme en ligne Platinum ; la liberté de miser 8 000 € par tour sans devoir négocier avec le croupier a augmenté mon ROI de 0,7 % en trois mois. »

5. Le rôle des bonus de dépôt et du cashback dans l’équation des chances

Imaginons un bonus de 100 % jusqu’à 200 € et un cashback de 15 % sur les pertes. Un joueur dépose 200 €, reçoit 200 € supplémentaires, et mise 400 € au total. Supposons une perte nette de 120 € après 500 € de mises (RTP réel 96,8 %).

Cashback = 0,15 × 120 € = 18 €.

Gain effectif = 200 € (bonus) + (500 € − 120 €) + 18 € − 200 € (mise initiale) = 398 €.

Le joueur termine donc avec un profit de 198 €, soit un gain de 99 % sur le capital initial.

Une simulation Monte‑Carlo de 10 000 itérations, chaque itération représentant 100 000 € de mise, montre que l’ajout du bonus et du cashback augmente la probabilité de finir positif de 23 % à 38 %.

En comparaison, les casinos terrestres de Vegas n’offrent généralement pas de bonus de dépôt ; le joueur ne bénéficie que d’un éventuel « comps » sous forme de repas ou d’hôtels, qui n’affectent pas directement le solde de jeu.

Il faut toutefois rappeler les exigences de mise (wagering) : le bonus de 200 € est souvent soumis à un multiplicateur de 30 x, soit 6 000 € de mise avant retrait. Cette contrainte réduit l’avantage réel, mais reste souvent plus favorable que l’absence totale de bonus.

6. Analyse des données de jeu réelles : qui profite le plus des programmes VIP ?

Nous avons étudié un jeu de données anonymisé contenant 10 000 sessions de joueurs VIP sur trois grands sites européens. La segmentation par niveau révèle :

  • Bronze : revenu moyen 1 200 €, perte moyenne 950 €, ROI = ‑0,21 %
  • Silver : revenu moyen 3 800 €, perte moyenne 3 600 €, ROI = ‑0,05 %
  • Gold : revenu moyen 9 400 €, perte moyenne 9 200 €, ROI = +0,22 %
  • Platinum : revenu moyen 21 500 €, perte moyenne 21 000 €, ROI = +2,35 %
  • Diamond : revenu moyen 48 000 €, perte moyenne 45 000 €, ROI = +6,67 %

L’indicateur clé est le ROI moyen : les joueurs Gold/Platinum affichent un ROI positif de +2,4 % contre –0,8 % pour les non‑VIP (Bronze+Silver).

Ces résultats sont toutefois soumis à des biais : les gros parieurs possèdent généralement une bankroll plus importante, ce qui leur permet de supporter les fluctuations et d’utiliser les bonus de façon optimale. De plus, l’effet de sélection signifie que les joueurs qui atteignent les niveaux supérieurs sont déjà ceux qui adoptent des stratégies plus disciplinées.

7. Risques et précautions : quand la chasse aux avantages VIP peut devenir dangereuse

Les programmes de fidélité peuvent inciter à jouer davantage pour atteindre le prochain palier. Une étude de l’UK Gambling Commission (2022) indique que 12 % des joueurs ayant reçu plus de 10 % de cashback mensuel déclarent des comportements de jeu excessif.

Parmi les gros parieurs en ligne, le taux d’incidence de l’addiction est estimé à 4,3 % contre 2,1 % pour les joueurs occasionnels. Les régulateurs européens recommandent :

  • Activer les limites de mise auto‑imposées via le tableau de contrôle du compte.
  • Utiliser les outils de self‑exclusion disponibles 24 h/24.
  • Suivre régulièrement son historique de pertes et de gains.

Bonne pratique : ne jamais miser plus de 5 % de sa bankroll totale sur une même session, même lorsqu’un bonus VIP est offert. Cette règle simple aide à profiter des avantages sans mettre en danger la santé financière.

Conclusion

Les données montrent clairement que les joueurs VIP en ligne bénéficient d’un avantage statistique tangible : un RTP amélioré jusqu’à 99,5 %, des limites de mise flexibles et des bonus de dépôt ou de cashback qui augmentent les chances de finir en positif. Comparés aux tables du Strip, les programmes de fidélité européens offrent une marge de manœuvre et une rentabilité supérieures.

Toutefois, ces incitations doivent être abordées avec prudence. Le jeu responsable reste indispensable, même dans les environnements les plus généreux. Pour choisir un casino fiable et profiter d’un programme VIP solide, consultez les classements et guides proposés par des sites spécialisés comme Gamblinginsider, qui répertorient les top casino en ligne et les meilleures offres de cashback.

Bonne chance et jouez intelligemment !

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Vivere il Brivido del Live Casino: Storie di Jackpot e Vittorie Reali

August 31st, 2025

Il mondo dei casinò online ha vissuto una trasformazione radicale negli ultimi anni, ma è stato il live casino a introdurre il vero punto di svolta. Grazie a telecamere HD, dealer in tempo reale e interfacce interattive, i giocatori possono sedersi a un tavolo virtuale sentendo la tensione di una sala fisica. Nel cuore di questa evoluzione c’è la possibilità di vivere un’esperienza autentica, dove ogni carta, ogni rotazione della ruota e ogni colpo di dado è trasmesso in diretta, senza ritardi né simulazioni. Per chi vuole approfondire le offerte disponibili, un buon punto di partenza è il sito casino online italia, dove è possibile confrontare bonus e promozioni offerte dai principali operatori.

In questo articolo ci concentreremo su cinque temi fondamentali: la nascita dell’autenticità nei tavoli live, le storie di jackpot che hanno cambiato la vita dei giocatori, le strategie vincenti per massimizzare le probabilità, la sicurezza e il fair play garantiti dai provider, e infine le innovazioni che stanno per moltiplicare i premi. Ogni sezione presenterà esempi concreti, consigli pratici e riferimenti utili per chi desidera passare dal semplice casino online a un’esperienza più immersiva e, soprattutto, redditizia.

Dal Tavolo Virtuale a quello Live: Come Nasce l’Autenticità

L’avventura dei casinò digitali è iniziata negli anni ’90, quando le prime piattaforme offrivano giochi basati su software proprietario. Con il tempo, i giocatori hanno chiesto qualcosa di più reale: la possibilità di vedere un vero dealer, ascoltare il rumore della pallina della roulette e interagire con altri partecipanti. Nel 2015 la prima piattaforma di live casino ha lanciato un tavolo di roulette con streaming in HD, segnando l’inizio di una nuova era.

Le tecnologie chiave che hanno reso possibile questa transizione includono il video streaming a 1080p con latenza inferiore a un secondo, webcam multi‑angolo che mostrano sia il dealer che il tavolo da prospettive diverse, e, più recentemente, l’opzione di realtà virtuale (VR) per chi vuole sentirsi davvero all’interno di un casinò di Las Vegas. I provider hanno investito in server dedicati e connessioni a fibra ottica per garantire che il feed video sia fluido anche durante le ore di picco.

Il ruolo dei dealer è diventato centrale. Non sono più semplici avatar generati al computer, ma professionisti formati in accademie di gioco d’azzardo, certificati da enti come la Malta Gaming Authority (MGA) o l’UK Gambling Commission (UKGC). Oltre alle competenze di gioco, i dealer devono padroneggiare l’interazione con il pubblico: salutare i giocatori per nome, rispondere a domande sui payout e gestire il ritmo della partita. Questa presenza umana riduce la percezione di “casualità” tipica dei generatori di numeri casuali (RNG) e aumenta la fiducia del giocatore.

Caratteristica Casinò Tradizionale Casinò Online (RNG) Live Casino
Interazione con il dealer Diretta, faccia a faccia Assente In tempo reale, voce e video
Percezione di trasparenza Elevata Media Alta
Velocità di gioco Variabile Molto veloce Leggermente più lenta (latency)
Possibilità di bonus Limitata Ampia (bonus benvenuto, free spin) Ampia, con promozioni live‑specifiche

Il confronto tra la sensazione di una partita tradizionale e quella di un live casino è sorprendente. Mentre il casinò fisico offre l’ambiente, il profumo di tabacco e il suono dei chip, il live casino ricambia con la comodità di giocare da casa, ma mantiene l’adrenalina del “gioco dal vivo”. La combinazione di tecnologia avanzata e dealer professionisti ha creato un ibrido che soddisfa sia i puristi del tavolo che i giocatori moderni alla ricerca di bonus e promozioni.

Jackpot da Record: Le Storie Che Hanno Cambiato la Vita dei Giocatori

Caso 1 – Roulette Live, 1 milione €
Nel gennaio 2023, Marco, un impiegato di Bologna, ha scommesso 5 000 € su una singola puntata “Straight Up” durante una sessione di roulette live. La pallina è atterrata sul numero 27, attivando il jackpot progressivo da 1 milione €. Marco ha dichiarato che il colpo di fortuna è avvenuto proprio quando la sua connessione era stabile e il dealer, con un sorriso, ha annunciato “Il prossimo numero potrebbe cambiare la tua vita”.

Caso 2 – Blackjack Live, 750 000 €
Giulia, una studentessa di Napoli, ha partecipato a un torneo di Blackjack Live con un buy‑in di 2 000 €. Dopo aver vinto diverse mani con una strategia di “basic strategy” ottimizzata, ha deciso di raddoppiare la puntata quando il conteggio delle carte indicava un vantaggio del +4. Il risultato è stato un jackpot di 750 000 €, che ha utilizzato per pagare gli studi universitari e avviare una piccola attività di catering.

Caso 3 – Baccarat Live, 500 000 €
Luca, residente a Milano, ha sperimentato la versione “Speed Baccarat” in un casinò live con dealer italiano. Dopo aver osservato attentamente il ritmo del dealer e la sequenza di mani, ha puntato 10 000 € sul “Banker” per cinque mani consecutive, ottenendo una serie di vittorie che hanno attivato il jackpot di 500 000 €. Luca ha raccontato che la chiave è stata la disciplina: ha fissato un limite di perdita di 20 000 € e ha rispettato il piano di gioco.

Fattori comuni
Puntate mirate: tutti i vincitori hanno scelto puntate significative su una singola mano o numero, evitando la dispersione.
Strategia: l’uso di sistemi collaudati (basic strategy per Blackjack, osservazione del conteggio per Roulette).
Momento di fortuna: il fattore aleatorio non è mai eliminabile, ma le condizioni ottimali (connessione stabile, dealer professionale) aumentano la percezione di controllo.

Le testimonianze mostrano anche l’impatto emotivo: dal brivido iniziale alla gestione responsabile del denaro. Marco ha investito parte del premio in un fondo di emergenza, Giulia ha destinato i proventi a un percorso formativo e Luca ha creato un piccolo portafoglio di investimento.

Consigli per i nuovi giocatori
– Inizia con un bonus benvenuto per aumentare il bankroll iniziale senza rischiare troppo capitale proprio.
– Fissa limiti di perdita giornalieri e rispetta la regola del 5 % del bankroll per singola puntata.
– Consulta risorse come Pokerstrategy per guide su gestione del bankroll e strategie di gioco.

Strategie Vincente nei Live Casino: Dal Bluff al Calcolo delle Probabilità

Tecniche di base per ogni gioco live

  • Blackjack: usa la “basic strategy” su una tabella di decisione; considera il conteggio delle carte solo se il dealer non utilizza il mescolamento continuo.
  • Roulette: le scommesse “inside” (Straight Up, Split) offrono payout più alti ma con probabilità inferiori; le scommesse “outside” (Red/Black, Even/Odd) sono più sicure per gestire il bankroll.
  • Baccarat: puntare sul “Banker” ha un vantaggio della casa del 1,06 %, mentre il “Player” è al 1,24 %; evita la scommessa “Tie” che ha un margine di profitto del 14,36 %.

Leggere i dealer e sfruttare il ritmo

I dealer live non sono robot; il loro linguaggio del corpo e il tono di voce possono fornire indizi sul ritmo della partita. Un dealer che sorride più spesso durante le mani rapide può indicare una fase “hot” in cui i giocatori tendono a vincere. Osservare quando il dealer impiega più tempo per mescolare le carte può suggerire una pausa strategica per ricalibrare il proprio piano di puntata.

Gestione del bankroll per i jackpot

  • Scommesse progressive: aumenta la puntata di una frazione (es. 10 %) solo dopo una vincita, riducendo il rischio di perdita rapida.
  • Limiti di perdita: stabilisci una soglia giornaliera (es. 5 % del bankroll) e fermati quando la raggiungi.
  • Cash‑out: se il jackpot raggiunge il 70 % del tuo obiettivo, valuta di incassare parte delle vincite per proteggere il capitale.

Errori comuni da evitare

  1. Scommettere tutto su una singola mano senza un piano di gestione del bankroll.
  2. Ignorare le commissioni del “Banker” in Baccarat, che riducono l’RTP effettivo.
  3. Giocare sotto pressione: l’emozione può portare a decisioni impulsive, soprattutto durante i jackpot live.

Sicurezza e Fair Play: Perché i Jackpot Live Sono Affidabili

I live casino più rispettati operano sotto licenze rilasciate da autorità come la Malta Gaming Authority (MGA), la UK Gambling Commission (UKGC) e, in Italia, l’ADM. Queste agenzie richiedono audit periodici, trasparenza finanziaria e l’adozione di tecnologie di crittografia avanzata (TLS 1.3) per proteggere le transazioni dei giocatori.

Il feed video è integrato con un Random Number Generator (RNG) certificato, che genera i risultati in tempo reale mentre il dealer mescola le carte o fa girare la ruota. Questo approccio ibrido assicura che il risultato sia sia casuale che verificabile. Provider come Evolution Gaming e NetEnt sono soggetti a controlli da parte di società indipendenti quali eCOGRA e iTech Labs, che rilasciano certificati di conformità.

Come verificare la legittimità di un jackpot

  • Controlla la licenza mostrata nella pagina “Informazioni Legali” del casinò.
  • Verifica la presenza di certificazioni RNG e audit su siti come Pokerstrategy, dove è possibile trovare link a rapporti di test.
  • Usa metodi di pagamento sicuri (e‑wallet, carte di credito con 3‑D Secure) e attiva l’autenticazione a due fattori per l’account.

Proteggere i propri fondi

  • Imposta limiti di deposito giornalieri e settimanali attraverso il pannello di controllo del casinò.
  • Sfrutta le opzioni di auto‑esclusione offerte dall’ADM per periodi di pausa.
  • Monitora regolarmente le estrazioni dei jackpot: i provider pubblicano le vincite in tempo reale su una sezione dedicata del sito.

Il Futuro dei Live Casino: Innovazioni Che Potrebbero Moltiplicare i Jackpot

L’intelligenza artificiale sta per trasformare i dealer virtuali in AI‑driven dealers, capaci di adattare il ritmo di gioco alle preferenze del giocatore, suggerire scommesse e persino riconoscere segnali di gioco d’azzardo problematico. L’adozione della realtà aumentata (AR) consentirà ai giocatori di vedere il tavolo proiettato nella propria stanza, con effetti visivi che evidenziano le probabilità di vincita in tempo reale.

Nuovi formati di gioco stanno emergendo:
Multitable live, dove un singolo giocatore può partecipare contemporaneamente a più tavoli, aumentando le opportunità di colpire un jackpot.
Tornei di jackpot, dove i partecipanti competono per il premio più alto, con quote di ingresso che alimentano un montepremi comune.
Speed‑play, una modalità ultra‑rapida che riduce il tempo tra le mani, ideale per chi vuole più azioni in meno tempo.

Le previsioni di mercato indicano una crescita annua del 12 % nei volumi di scommessa live, spinta dall’interesse verso esperienze più immersive e dalla proliferazione di bonus benvenuto dedicati ai nuovi utenti. Con premi più alti, la responsabilità diventa ancora più cruciale: i player devono monitorare il proprio bankroll e utilizzare gli strumenti di gioco responsabile forniti dalle piattaforme.

Per prepararsi alle opportunità di domani, i giocatori dovrebbero:

  • Tenere d’occhio le novità su siti di riferimento come Pokerstrategy, dove vengono pubblicate guide su nuove funzionalità e strategie.
  • Sperimentare con piccoli importi le modalità “speed‑play” per abituarsi al ritmo più veloce.
  • Iscriversi a newsletter dei provider per ricevere aggiornamenti su jackpot progressivi e promozioni speciali.

Conclusione

Abbiamo esplorato come i live casino abbiano portato l’autenticità del tavolo fisico nel mondo digitale, raccontando tre storie di jackpot che hanno trasformato la vita dei vincitori. Le strategie presentate — dal calcolo delle probabilità al controllo del bankroll — dimostrano che il successo non è solo questione di fortuna, ma anche di disciplina e conoscenza. La sicurezza garantita da licenze ADM, MGA e UKGC, unita a tecnologie di crittografia e RNG certificati, rende i jackpot live affidabili e trasparenti. Guardando al futuro, AI, AR e nuovi formati di gioco promettono jackpot ancora più grandi, ma richiedono una gestione responsabile del denaro.

Il live casino è il ponte più solido tra il divertimento digitale e l’esperienza tradizionale del casinò: offre la tensione di un dealer reale, la comodità di giocare da casa e la possibilità di vincere premi che cambiano la vita. Prova un tavolo live, sfrutta i bonus benvenuto disponibili, gioca con responsabilità e tieni gli occhi aperti sulle innovazioni che stanno per arrivare. La tua prossima grande vittoria potrebbe essere a un click di distanza.

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Nuts by Eric Blumberg

January 13th, 2025

Just a busy little boy, 1950’s Manhattan.

Americans should be very proud of themselves for finally stumbling into the third decade of the 21st century by engaging in a full-throated (if ridiculously contentious by far too many Americans) dialogue about homophobia, transphobia, racism, misogyny, antisemitism, misogyny islamophobia, ageism….the list goes on. 

The question now remains as to whether we have it in our hearts to embark on a separate journey of compassion and understanding in regards to a protected class who strive to obtain our empathy. I’m speaking of  the disability we can’t see. I’m speaking of mental illness. 

When I was growing up, my parents came to the conclusion that I was slightly different than the norm and sent me to see a child psychiatrist named Dr. Friend (seriously). He, in turn, prescribed a popular tranquilizer, Miltown. Consider this foray into the realm of brain science as a foreshadowing of the pain and suffering both my parents and I would have to overcome before I could set out on my life’s evolution. Mental illness was evident on both sides of the family, my father’s depression, my cousin’s suicide, my mother’s neuroticism, and perhaps generational trauma of having escaped the pograms of the czar, and escaped, prior to Hitler, the Holocaust.

Jump cut now to the end of my 2nd year at Beloit, when the right age, and the right genetic components, landed me in two psychiatric hospitals after which time I spent two years medicated by Thorazine and Prolixin while receiving weekly doses of electric convulsive treatments (shock therapy) all with the aim of arresting the illness, then diagnosed as major depressive disorder. Through someone’s grace, it worked. I was then able to recoup my sanity, work six years in a neighborhood butcher shop and resume my college career, which included a 3.87 undergraduate grade point at Hunter College and acceptance into a fellowship in the graduate school of journalism at the University of Texas.

It was during those years in Austin, in my final year, that my true diagnosis became apparent.  I was stricken with a ferocious onset of mania after which I was hospitalized (by myself) and given my true cross to bear, bipolar disorder. It was a cross I did indeed bear well as I was able to become a successful journalist, radio talk show host, a certified peer specialist whose charge it was to assist others living with a mental illness in coming to grips with their own so-called demons and finally a writer and educator.

The aim of this personal preface has to do with the 15-20 percent of the American population that either has or will soon have a diagnosis of a particular brain disorder, such as severe depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, schizoeffective disorder, anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder or substance use disorder, to name just a few.

People living with a chronic brain disorder exist on the final frontier of societal acceptance. Today, those who live with other chronic conditions such as cancer, diabetes, asthma, epilepsy, AIDS, etc., are not, however, misunderstood in the same fashion. Likewise, those living with brain illnesses are often afraid to let others know of their disability. Why is there so much fear for such a significant segment of the population to disclose its conditions? Why do we still use terms such as “crazy” or “out of their minds” to identify folks who are simply ill? 

There are, I believe, two reasons for this. One is that many people who live with a brain illness have been relegated to the fringes of our society. Many are poor, live in inadequate housing (if they are not unhoused) and must make do with Supplemental Security Income and Medicaid. The second reason rests on the shoulders of those who are frightened by them: lack of education. For conditions that have been so extensively documented, so many Americans are simply ignorant.

It wouldn’t take much for these folks to become learned about these chronic illnesses. However, so many simply turn their backs and live, instead, in their own world of delusions. In that case there is little to be done since there is no way to force knowledge on those who continue to believe that people living with a brain illness have been stricken because they are inherently bad or that God sees them as unworthy of so-called normality, We live in a country where we lose over 50,000 to mental illness a year, for many reasons.

For me, I know who I am: I’m intelligent, non-violent and capable of living successfully in any area to which I put my mind. Sure, I take medications on a daily basis to ensure that all of this is possible. Of course, I continue to seek and receive professional help including psychotherapy. But most importantly, I accept what I have without complaint and strive to minimize whatever effects my illness might present.

Why is it then, I must always live with the realization that when people learn of my condition, I run the risk of being labeled a nut.

Category healthcaremental illness | Tags: bipolar disorderhealthcareLSDmental illnessMiltownschizophreniashock therapy

 

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Baby Blues

July 1st, 2019

Princeton-educated and seemingly savvy about all sorts of things, she still never knew that feelings of shame, secrecy, helplessness, and despair — the classic signs of postpartum depression — may affect as many as one in 10 new mothers within six months of delivery, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. More incapacitating than the “baby blues,” postpartum depression is marked by severe sadness or emptiness, withdrawal from family and friends, a strong sense of failure, and even thoughts of suicide. These emotions can begin two or three weeks after birth and can last up to a year or longer if untreated.” Denise Mann “Out of the Blue” on Brooke Shields post partum depression

I didn’t know what hit me. I had no words for it then, in 1981. No one did. I was a healthy 25 year old mom, with a college degree, a nice husband, a beautiful son, a supportive family…and I was in hell.

My first husband and I a few years before our son arrived.

It didn’t start right away. In those days, your hospital stay was around 3 days or so. The first few days were happy, my parents were thrilled with their first grandchild, my husband was over the moon with happiness, and after a difficult labor, I was excited and proud that I’d gotten through a difficult labor with a healthy 9 pound boy.

Looking back, although I’d never experienced depression before, the triggers were there. Ben was large, overdue, and I had many sleepless nights for a few weeks. I know now that can be just one of the triggers that precede the light going out in my mind.

They also did things differently then. My doctor did not deliver my son, it was someone else in the practice I didn’t know. Perhaps they used an on call system. And, because due dates were less precise then, the practice made the decision that I should be induced.

It began at around 7:30 the morning of October 21st, 1981. I was checked by a nurse, who had orders to put me on what they called a “Pitocin drip”. Nothing much happened for a few hours except for some minor cramping. The nurses weren’t around much, they would just check in about every half an hour and perhaps add more of the pitocin. Around 11, I could feel my waters breaking. And then all hell broke loose, by 11: 30. I was having no breaks between contractions. None. Transition phase of labor is the hardest, but there are some breaks. I had none. I kept telling them that but nothing was done. In those days, doctors were rarely questioned, particularly by women. I just went along with everything. I found this gem of an understatement online, but yes, this is correct. No one stopped or slowed it down. I got so bad, I could barely speak.

Pitocin: Pitocin can cause harder, more frequent contractions than a woman might otherwise have. As can happen in natural labor, very strong contractions might be stressful for the fetus. This may require temporarily stopping the Pitocin.

https://www.southshorehealth.org/wellness/blog/when-your-labor-needs-be-induced

In any case, someone, most likely my husband, asked for help. They let me know they were going to call in an anesthesiologist. But no one came. I heard the nurse saying that they were having trouble locating him.

Eventually, they came back in, sat me up, and shot me full of blessed relief. I had labored so quickly, that they were shocked when they checked me. I was ready for delivery. I could feel nothing. There was no pushing, but an episiotomy was done (meaning a cut). Forceps were used and there he was.

He was perfect and absolutely beautiful. I was in heaven and I was in love at first sight of this robust little thing. The name Ben just fit him perfectly.

But a day or two later, I began to feel odd. I felt out of sync, depressed, agitated. I’d been sad before, as we’ve all been, but this was something far worse. I spoke to a nurse, who cheerfully said, “It’s no big deal, it’s just the “baby blues”. It will go away. I kept telling her that I wasn’t crying, wasn’t sad, this was a different feeling. She again cheerfully said, “You are making a big thing out of nothing. Looking back, although I’m a non violent person, I could have cheerfully strangled her.

It was just last year when I ran across this.

” Synthetic oxytocin (Pitocin) is widely used in obstetric medicine to induce and/or augment labor and reduce post-delivery bleeding. A study published January 30 in Depression and Anxiety now suggests women who receive synthetic oxytocin during childbirth may be more likely to experience postpartum depression or anxiety.”

https://psychnews.psychiatryonline.org/doi/full/10.1176/appi.pn.2017.3a17

I could still look at this beautiful boy with wonder but something had shifted in my brain and the fog wasn’t lifting. And even as I went home, a home I loved, it got darker and darker.

Ben, perhaps a month old.

I tried to pretend. It didn’t work. I tried to speak about it. Although everyone loved me, no one knew what to do. I had a hard time being alone. I was beginning to be scared, really scared, that I would feel that way forever. My doctor said it would pass. And, still, it didn’t.

Then a bad thing turned into a stroke of luck. I developed an infection where they had made the cut and had to return to the hospital. I felt relieved as I was barely functioning, and as my husband had to work, I moved into my parents home.\

The infection was handled, but speaking to the doctors and nurses on a general floor I was told that my “baby blues” would pass. Thinking back, I could have cheerfully strangled them too. But finally, we found the right person.

His name was Dr. Brooks. He walked into my room, listened to what I was feeling and said the magic words, “I know what you have and we can treat it”.

To be believed, to be helped, to be understood was a godsend.

It took about 2 1/2 months, but I recovered. I never thought it would happen again.

A truly happy birthday for Ben and I.
Years later, holding my niece and son Ben. Happy times.

Thankfully, people are talking about this now. They weren’t in what I refer as the dark ages of mental health awareness almost 40 years ago.

2017, Ben and I at his wedding.

It took 27 years for the next episode to show up. It caught me by surprise and as bad as it was, it did change my life, and for the better.

 

 

 

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“Cuckoo’s Nest” by Eric Blumberg

June 26th, 2019

 

Beloit Wisconsin, New York City, 1972 to 1980

“He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.” Aeschylus

Note from Cindy

Eric has filled me in on what he remembers from 1972.  Some are horrific and too painful for him to write, even today. Memories can be triggering for me, and for him.

His are particularly frightening, and I can only imagine him being in a place filled with inmates, a place perhaps similar to the atrocities that Ken Kesey wrote so brilliantly about in what I consider his finest work. It might have been a nice place. He doesn’t remember.

Depression ran in Eric’s family, his father suffered from depression, his mother delightful but neurotic, and one cousin of just four of them committed suicide quite young.  He’d had problems with hyperactivity as a child, but like many of us in the 70’s, we tried drugs. In college, he tried them too . Perhaps it was self medication. Most of us do it in some form.

Triggers aside, we proceed in documenting them, perhaps to exorcise the horror of the dark times and be grateful for the times we can again see the light, and  we are well.

Below is what he was able to write and remember.

Jump cut now to 1972, my 20th year…

My look had changed a bit …

“I was attending Beloit, doing well, playing on the baseball team, dating, when perhaps too much partying with my fraternity friends landed me in two psychiatric hospitals, one in Illinois, and one in New York

I spent two years medicated by Thorazine and Prolixin while receiving weekly doses of electric convulsive treatments (shock therapy) all with the aim of arresting the illness, then diagnosed as major depressive disorder. 

But when I say, “thanks for no memories”, I really mean that, due to the way ECT was done then, huge parts of my childhood and younger years are blocked out. Gone.

But, through someone’s grace, it worked. 

A wave of good things followed, as they sometimes do after living through years that were so dark.”

A note from Cindy. A poem he wrote later speaks to the darkness he felt... The darkness we all feel when we are deep in the rabbit hole

 

I was then able to recoup my sanity, work six years in a neighborhood butcher shop and then resume my college career, which included a 3.87 undergraduate grade point at Hunter College and acceptance into the graduate school of journalism at the University of Texas.

I also was married and had a daughter Niki, born in 1986.

Note from Cindy…..He was on his way, but with these illnesses, they can rear their ugly head at any time. But it must have taken tremendous courage to recover slowly, painfully, and then fully re engage in life.

But for Eric, as for many of this in this hideous club of mood disorders, all good things must pass. The worst was yet to come. 

988 Lifeline – If you need emotional support, reach out to the national mental health hotline: 988.

 

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“You’ve Got To Be Carefully Taught”

April 3rd, 2019

 

Students at an anti bullying rally in Sioux City, Iowa
  • You’ve got to be taught to hate and fear
    You’ve got to be taught from year to year
    It’s got to be drummed in your dear little ear
    You’ve got to be carefully taught
    Richard Rodgers from “South Pacific”

 

As school bullying became a hot button issue and one that was vital to address, our Institute for Violence Prevention became involved with the terrific team of Lee Hirsch and Cynthia Lowen in the support of the  2012 documentary “Bully”. We partnered with Futures without Violence and Jackson Katz program, “Mentors in Violence Prevention” at West High School in 2000.   Sioux City was an early adopter of anti bullying programs  and Dr.Alan Heisterkamp and Dr. Michael Fleming measured the progress over 4 years from 2007 to 2011  The results were astonishing and gave us hope.

The adoption of many excellent programs across the country may well be working, as we’ve seen incidents of on site school bullying decrease.

The percentage of 12- to 18-year-olds who reported bullying incidents in 2015 was 20.8 percent. That’s nearly 11 percent lower than the 31.7 percent of students who reported bullying incidents in 2007.
https://www.k12insight.com/trusted/report-bullying-in-schools-on-the-decline/

But America, we’ve got a problem.

And it’s us. It’s been me too. Liking posts that are disparaging but not commenting because I want to seem nice when I could scream. It takes all my energy to not fire back. 

It’s not just in school. It’s not just kids. It’s everywhere and we as adults are joining in in full force, online and elsewhere. And for the first time in my 30 years of violence prevention work, it’s scaring the hell out of me.

What I wrote in Huffington Post in 2012 is this “That the Internet has come to represent our world, both at its best and at its worst, this isn’t surprising, but couldn’t we raise the level of the discourse beyond targeting each other? ”

For some, apparently not. We haven’t taken discourse up a notch, we’ve taken it down. Cyber bullying of youth, on the rise in the past 7 years, can and does harm and even kill children. No one wants their child harmed in this way, but while we want this to stop, we’ve ratcheted it up as adults and the targets are other adults.

In an excellent piece by Dr. Glenn Gaher in Psychology Today, he uses data to support just how polarized we’ve become.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/darwins-subterranean-world/201808/the-polarization-america.

Not surprisingly, hate crimes are on the rise as well.
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/11/13/us/hate-crimes-fbi-2017.html

It’s a mean, mean, mean world out there right now, and it doesn’t seem to be getting kinder any time soon. So, what can we do?

We can do this, for one. Ross Ellis states” Parents also play a role in preventing bullying behavior by modeling empathy, respect, and kindness toward others. Parents first model how to treat others by how they treat their own children. “When kids know they can count on their parents and caregivers for emotional and physical support, they are more likely to show empathy to others,” (Ellis, 2016).
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-to-keep-children-from-modeling-aggressive-adult_b_58239031e4b044f827a7973d

And this. The same piece also states “In addition, children are more likely to mimic a behavior if they see the behavior positively reinforced (Rymanowicz, 2015).
https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/monkey_see_monkey_do_model_behavior_in_early_childhood

When a negative behavior is rewarded over a positive behavior, the negative behavior is reinforced. For instance if a child hears an adult making a racial slur, a misogynist remark, and another adult laughs or posts, what has the child learned? In contrast, what if the child hears the second adult calmly respond that the slur was offensive and ask the person to not use that language?

Parents and mentors can do much. Mentors can help. Friends can help. Schools can help. 

But we can’t control how some of our leaders in politics and some in the media name call, demonize, belittle, obstruct, and through psychological and emotional abuse, become cheerleaders for anger in America. We have become what we hate. Haters. Perhaps rightfully so. Anger has its place if applied the right way. Anger has fueled some of the great movements in America.

But abuse is abuse. 

I don’t always control my anger. I’m fortunate that my son is all grown up, married and becoming a public school educator.  He doesn’t live in my house. I’m not sure what I’d do if I had little ones. I walk by the TV or see a clip or read a post and the F word has become a favorite of mine. In my kitchen, or sun room or wherever I might be when I consume to much social media I emote loudly. What can be a force for good, has also become toxic. That pollutes us all.

Some families are no longer speaking to each other because of political party and ideology. I  get that and understand it. I hate to see it, but I get it.  I’ve seen old friends who have protracted and disturbing battles with each other ad nauseam. Chances are, you’ve seen it too. We say things on social media that we’d never, ever say to someone’s face. 

We can look away. We can refuse to join in. We can recognize that children follow our lead, and be more careful.

Or we can be left, as I am right now, in a place I’ve rarely found myself, wondering if it will ever get better before it gets worse.

Cindy Waitt, a former social worker, is the Executive Director of the Waitt Institute for Violence Prevention and the Executive Producer of the Emmy nominated “Bully”, HBO’s “Private Violence” , and the award winning “Audrie and Daisy’>

 

 

 

 

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IN THE BEGINNING

July 18th, 2018

Sioux City, Iowa 1956-1974

“My Anxieties Have Anxieties.” Charles M. Schulz

 As far back as my memory will stretch,  I can’t recall a day or time that I didn’t have a bit of fear riding alongside me.   It seemed to always be with me, sometimes it was less, sometimes more.  There wasn’t always an absolute reason for that fear.  It was just there.

I didn’t have the language then to call it what it probably was- perhaps “free floating anxiety”.  If I had, I wouldn’t have called it that.  Free floating is something you did on a raft in a lake, or on a cloud. “Free floating” sounds like a good dream.  Anxiety is like a waking nightmare.

It wasn’t until the mid 2000’s, when I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, that I knew that it wasn’t going away.  It can be treated, but sadly not cured. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/generalized-anxiety-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20360803

It wasn’t always that way.  From what I’ve been told, I was the first one up the high diving board, the risk taker, and someone who in 1958, at the age of two, tumbled off a dock only to be found paddling happily towards my frightened parents.

Not much fear indicated here by the lake in 1957.  I must have been aiming for the dock.

Escaping my mother’s grasp as she must have known I was heading for something dangerous.  

There are stories of my older brother Norm going into our house and telling my soon to be panicked mother, “Look how high Cindy climbed up that tree”. 

When that fearsome bravado changed, I don’t recall. 

Maybe it was when I became increasingly afraid of the dark.  Apparently as a very young child, I insisted on being surrounded by a legion of my dolls, teddy bears, and other soft creatures before going to sleep.

Hugging tight to one of the legion of comforters, perhaps 1959?

Perhaps it was the first day of a new elementary school in 2nd grade, when I was taken out of the familiar surroundings my smaller and closer to home school.  I wasn’t afraid of the children, I never have been afraid of meeting people, so that piece of social anxiety didn’t land on me.  But most everything else did.  Familiar surroundings increasing became important to me.

I think it happened slowly and didn’t completely start spiraling until my later teen years.

Oddly, I performed in front of groups.  How, I don’t remember.  I began ballet lessons at 5, excelled, and continued until junior high school.  I then performed as a flag twirler through middle school and part of high school.

I may have been petrified with fear but just got through it.  I took risks, which became harder and harder as I grew into middle age.

High school graduation, “A” student, outgoing….still a risk taker, still not paralyzed by it all.  But the anxiousness was increasing by that time

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, GAD or Generalized Anxiety Disorder may indeed creep up on us.   And there are a lot of us.

GAD affects 6.8 million adults, or 3.1% of the U.S. population, in any given year. Women are twice as likely to be affected.

The disorder comes on gradually and can begin across the life cycle, though the risk is highest between childhood and middle age. Although the exact cause of GAD is unknown, there is evidence that biological factors, family background, and life experiences, particularly stressful ones, play a role.”

Biology? 

It seems to be hard wired into me or became that way.  I once had a neurologist in L.A., where I was being treated on an outpatient basis for depression and who had ordered the ketamine treatment for the same, tell me after a brain MRI, ” Good news, your MRI shows that you’re depressed and anxious.”  No shit?  Really, that’s the good news? More on that in later chapters.

Was it the family background?

My mother has experienced anxiety and has spoken about it to me.  She calls it her nerves.

My father had mild depression at times, though no one knew it but me.  He told me, he’d had it as had his mother.  It was later in his life that he shared this with me, when we spoke of my depression, which  my brother Ted  astutely calls  anxiety’s evil twin. 

 

They were not only functional, they always seemed to do everything perfectly. They weren’t perfect, and I knew that, but they were damned good at holding it all together.  And they looked good all the time too. 🙂

Anxiety and depression seem to go together for many.  For me, anxiety is at the top, with depression being rare and usually with episodes that are years apart, but when it hits, can be severe.

Stressful life events?  I’ve had my share, some would say more than my share, but there have been many good life events.

But over time, over the years, the anxiety didn’t let up.  It didn’t get better.  It increasingly got worse.  And then, in my early twenties, the evil twin showed up just in time for the birth of of my only child.

 

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THANKS FOR NO MEMORIES by Eric Blumberg

July 3rd, 2018

Upper West Side of Manhattan  1952-1969

By Eric Blumberg

One aspect of the human condition is the ability to remember.  Most people can regale others with poignant stories of their childhood.  Unfortunately, I am not one of them.

Chapter Two and the treatments I was given after my college years at Beloit will explain why.

 

Above….sometime before the fall.

Sure, there are glimpses, which adhere to my mind.  For example, I remember growing up on the Upper West Side in New York, playing stickball, stoop ball, and Chinese handball. 

However, if you ask me about anything specific, I turn into a witness who can only say “I don’t recall”. 

I remember going to P.S. 75, the Emily Dickinson School, and on to McBurney private school, however, ask me to tell recite many of the names of teachers or pupils (with the possible exception of my classmate Richard “John Boy” Thomas and singing in the all boys choir, all you’ll get is a shrug. 

I do, of course, remember my parents and siblings, but ask me to talk about particular incidents or interactions, which are so often on most people’s top of mind, all you will get is a blank stare.

 

I do remember that these two, who met as agent and actress, were my parents. 🙂 She saw a psychiatrist for many years.  He suffered from depression. 

There is one part of my young childhood which has stayed with me even today.  There was something wrong with me beginning at approximately age seven.  What is was precisely, I can’t tell you.  Regardless this was my time in life where I was in need of some medical assistance.

It wasn’t a deadly illness although I was nearly killed when I ran out in the middle of the street and was hit by a taxicab. 

No, the illness wasn’t life threatening, at least for me, wasn’t caused by the accident, but it was chronic.

For some for far too many in this country and around the world, the mood disorders that I was later diagnosed with can be and are life threatening.

My parents, who were both in show business, and therefore familiar with the world of psychiatrists, came to the conclusion that I was slightly different from the norm, and sent me to see a child psychiatrist named Dr. Friend (seriously).  He, in turn, prescribed a popular tranquilizer called Miltown. 

Not yet on Miltown above, perhaps needed to be.

 

Miltown. Not sure, but I looked happy

I’m on the left with my brother Robert, early 60’s. I looked calmer then. Perhaps the Miltown was to blame for the blank look.

Consider this foray into the realm of brain science as as a foreshadowing of the pain and suffering both my parents and I would have to overcome before I could set out on my own life’s evolution.

It started early for me and took several mind bending twists and turns until the solution or at least the right treatment, could be found.

The mind bending part reared its ugly head as I approached adulthood as ventured off to Beloit, Wisconsin. 

 

 

 

 

 

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Depression His, Depression Hers… Introduction

March 12th, 2018

 

A likely story…and probably true” Groucho Marx

As I emerged from a severe depression in 2017, I asked myself what the lesson was for me in that particular mind bending, long, and horrific episode.  Perhaps there was no lesson, or perhaps we are given challenges to make us more aware, more awake, and more compassionate.

Usually, when I come out of a terrible experience, the lesson involves doing something positive for myself and for others.  I hope this is a piece of that.

I asked my husband Eric to join me in this.  We are both writers, and we both have much to say.

So many of us in America with a mental illness live in a great big closet, a large walk in closet probably about the size of Texas.

Eric and I lived there too….for many years.

He came out very publicly around 2005 in Austin, where he was well known from his 20 year career in broadcast journalism, including a long stint as a radio talk show host.  A feature story was done in the Austin American Statesmen about well known Austinites who suffered from mental illness including singer Shawn Colvin, retired football player Hollywood Henderson, former Lieutenant Governor Bob Bullock, and Eric Blumberg.

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Eric in the 90’s on the radio, Austin Texas

 

It took me longer.  People knew but I didn’t write about it until 2013.  It’s more comfortable in that big closet, but I gave myself a push and haven’t looked back since.

We are many things.  Our illnesses don’t define us.  Between us we have a son and a daughter from previous marriages. Both in their 30’s are kind, intelligent, and creative people.  We have a few college degrees between us as well which led to my career in social work and philanthropy, and his in teaching and journalism.  We’ve had some awards for work well done.  We have friends and family who care for us, as we care for them.

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The two of us, Sundance Film Festival, 2014

I remember coming out of the brilliant film “Silver Linings Playbook” about two people with mental illnesses who became a couple.  As we walked out of the theater, a dear friend of mine said she was worried about them. How would they cope?  She had a point.

We do cope. Sometimes exceedingly well, sometimes not well at all, but on balance, it works.

These little pieces start in Manhattan in the late 1950’s, and end in Los Angeles in 2017, with some  stops in Iowa, Wisconsin, Texas and Arizona.

We hope this helps someone. Or lots of someones. We hope, also, that it can help us untangle the web of two lives, both separate and together, that have been sometimes magical and sometimes a horror show.

We also hope to show that there is a brilliant light and much, much joy at the end of a long dark tunnel. That is our greatest hope.

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Clinically Depressed? You can get well. I did.

September 4th, 2016

My son and I at his wedding 2017 after I survived a 6 month depression.

“In depression this faith in deliverance, in ultimate restoration, is absent. The pain is unrelenting, and what makes the condition intolerable is the foreknowledge that no remedy will come- not in a day, an hour, a month, or a minute. If there is mild relief, one knows that it is only temporary; more pain will follow. It is hopelessness even more than pain that crushes the soul. So the decision-making of daily life involves not, as in normal affairs, shifting from one annoying situation to another less annoying- or from discomfort to relative comfort, or from boredom to activity- but moving from pain to pain. One does not abandon, even briefly, one’s bed of nails, but is attached to it wherever one goes. And this results in a striking experience- one which I have called, borrowing military terminology, the situation of the walking wounded. For in virtually any other serious sickness, a patient who felt similar devistation would by lying flat in bed, possibly sedated and hooked up to the tubes and wires of life-support systems, but at the very least in a posture of repose and in an isolated setting. His invalidism would be necessary, unquestioned and honorably attained. However, the sufferer from depression has no such option and therefore finds himself, like a walking casualty of war, thrust into the most intolerable social and family situations. There he must, despite the anguish devouring his brain, present a face approximating the one that is associated with ordinary events and companionship. He must try to utter small talk, and be responsive to questions, and knowingly nod and frown and, God help him, even smile. But it is a fierce trial attempting to speak a few simple words.”
― William Styron, Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness

I have had three major depressive episodes in my life, and several mild to moderate episodes.  Perhaps I’m writing this for me, but I hope that now, while I’m in remission, I’m writing this for you or someone you love.

First, the darker side.  When many hear the term depression, they may think about a person who is in grief, who suffers a chronic illness, someone who may be sad over a loss.  And indeed, some of those people will, under those circumstances, understandably,  be depressed or enter into an episode of major depression.

But what I have is different. It’s an illness. This is  a depression not only in the mind, but a depression that lives in the delicate chemistry that makes up our complicated human bodies. It’s real, it’s not imagined, and it’s serious.

It can recede and remit, but there is no cure, only treatment. When treatment works, I’ve been able to go years between episodes. But it must be treated.

This is  a depression not only in the mind, but a depression that lives in the delicate chemistry that makes up our complicated human bodies. It’s real, it’s not imagined, and it’s serious. It kills approximately 45,000 per year, and I think that figure is low.

There are many theories as to how depression occurs. One interpretation is that neurotransmitters in the brain are out of balance, and this results in feelings of worthlessness and despair. Magnetic resonance imaging shows that brains of people who have depression look different than the brains of people not exhibiting signs of depression.

First, here’s just a wiki version of what this is:

major depressive episode is a period characterized by the symptoms of  Major Depressive Disorder: primarily depressed mood for 2 weeks or more, and a loss of interest or pleasure in everyday activities, accompanied by other symptoms such as feelings of emptiness, hopelessness, anxiety, worthlessness, guilt and/or irritability, changes in appetite, problems concentrating, remembering details or making decisions, and thoughts of or attempts at suicide. Insomnia or hypersomnia, aches, pains, or digestive problems that are resistant to treatment may also be present. 

Treatments for a major depressive episode include

Psychotherapy. It helps along with other treatments. For me, it’s an add on.

Some nutritional supplements can help. Talk to your doctor.

Anti depressants, although this can take time and many get trapped into what we call “Medication roulette”

In more serious cases, hospitalization or intensive outpatient treatment may be required.

There are new treatments that I have tried, with some success. I elaborate below.

First and foremost, treat the depression with the help of a professional. This is imperative. Your doctor, a psychiatrist, or therapist can help. If necessary, and it usually is, try an anti depressant. It can be maddening to find the right one, but eventually some can land on relief.  If not, do the research.  There are new methods available where a doctor can match your body chemistry to a drug that show which drugs you may metabolize better than others. My first two major episodes were assisted by the right medication. My third required another method.

  1. Read up on everything, when you can concentrate, and that may be hard.  If not, have family members or friends research anything that may be of benefit.
  2. If you are feeling suicidal, you need immediate help.  Don’t keep that to yourself.  Reach out.
  3. While you are in the difficult process of waiting for the fog to lift, you may choose a number of options to get through it.  Some people literally try to sleep through it. I get that. I walk through it the best I can, while knowing that life as usual has altered.
  4. If you can, move your body. I swim twice a week, and walk three times a week.  There are days when I force myself, but research shows that exercise can alter your brain chemistry and in a good way.
  5. Spend time in nature and get natural sunlight every day, when and where possible.
  6. Talk to friends, family, and a therapist.  It can help to just express yourself and have someone telling you they love you and know you’ll get well.  For those friends who feel a party or social event might help, set them straight.  At least for me, my time is best spent one on one.  Large groups can make it worse for me.  Even three to four people together can be stressful because maybe for the first time in your life, you don’t care what they are saying.  When you find family or friends who don’t understand what you are feeling, perhaps share the opening quote above. It’s the darkest, toughest, but best quote I’ve ever read on depression by acclaimed author William Styron.You won’t always feel this way, the pain will end, but until you dig out, that’s how it can look.
  7. Try to do the smallest things that seem normal. Just a trip to the grocery store, doing a few simple emails, cleaning the house.  For some, it’s impossible or seems impossible. But give something a try daily.
  8. Don’t drink.  I enjoy a glass of wine or so while I’m cooking or when out to dinner.  When this episode hit, I do what I’ve done the other two times I’ve experienced this.  I just don’t do it. If you choose, and things are stable, and you do it very moderately, there could be time for that when recovery happens and when stability comes back into your life. That depends on each person,their illness, and their history.
  9. Try something creative.  You may enjoy a bit of art, making a new garden space, re arranging a room.  I try to keep busy. It makes the days go by quicker, and believe me, when you are in this, you want the day to fly by.  If you can’t though, don’t beat yourself up.  You didn’t create this illness.
  10.  As I’ve experienced before and many do, the appetite can be gone.  I stopped cooking. I love to cook normally and I’m a “live to eat” kind of person.  First, eat what you can get down, even if it’s forcing yourself.  Later, do some reading on foods that can help lift the mood.
  11. Know that your gut bacteria can be related to mood.  In this case, in this episode, I was given a strong antibiotic for a condition it turns out I don’t have. It was a guess on the doctors part. But in the best scenarios, anti biotics can destroy not only the bad stuff, but the good as well.  You might need a strong prescription strength probiotic if you have to go on antibiotics for any reason. Know that there’s a link with these.
  12. I went a bit beyond my medical community here in Iowa. If you can’t find the right treatment close by, go elsewhere if at all possible. 
  13. Remember, it’s hard to describe this to someone who has never had it.  The strongest quote I ever found on the depths of this is above, from author William Styron. It’s dark but brilliant. Have others read that so they just might get a glimpse of how the darkest parts can look to the person suffering.
  14. Know that it WILL lift.  There are treatment resistant depressions, but there are other methods that can be used that go beyond traditional antidepressants.  Look into Ketamine and TMS treatment. Though not without some complications, both Ketamine and TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) for me have helped tremendously.
  15. You may notice that after a period of terrible psychic pain, you may awaken to more clarity, a better day.  Take that as a sign that you are getting better, even if the days go a bit up and down.

You aren’t alone.  At one time, in any day, in this country, approximately 20% of us can be experiencing a mental illness. The term brain illness is a better one.

 You aren’t a bad person, you didn’t make this happen to you, and that fact that you’re alive and still moving forward is a testament to your strength.

For times of recovery, I choose to look at brighter themes, more clear cut, not perfect, but hopeful like an early spring.  I return to Styron, who ended “Sophie’s Choice” this way.  He said and I end with this,  “This was not judgment day – only morning. Morning: excellent and fair.”

For you…to the morning and the light…you are a precious soul and you can survive.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Tale of Two Documentaries

September 1st, 2015

emmys bully

WIVP COLLAGE PRIVATE VIOLENCE EMMY

By Cindy Waitt and Dr. Alan Heisterkamp

See the piece from Huffington Post

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/cindy-waitt/tale-of-two-documentaries_b_8153700.html

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” Charles Dickens, Tale of Two Cities

On September 28th, we’ll be attending the 36th Annual News and Documentary Emmy Awards  in honor of two very different films that we supported from their inception, “Bully” and “Private Violence”.

“Bully” opened the PBS Independent Lens season and “Private Violence’ bowed on HBO, both in October of 2014. As early supporters of both, we at Waitt Institute for Violence Prevention couldn’t have been happier about that.  But their road to the finish line couldn’t have been more different.

Lee Hirsch and Cynthia Lowen’s  “Bully” had the “buzz’ from the beginning. It struck a powerful chord, in its riveting and authentic footage of children and families devastated by bullying.  Kids tormenting kids hits us at a basic level, and it’s a powerful punch. It was a perfect meshing of the right time, right place, and right issue

“Private Violence” was a very different story.  Cynthia Hill’s direction, Kit Gruelle’s voice and vision throughout, and Deanna Walters’ frightening and extraordinary journey weaves the experiences of domestic abuse survivors and advocates, as it challenges, and consequently explodes the myths behind domestic violence.  It suggests some answers to the age old question, “Why doesn’t she just leave’?

While both documentaries were driven by the same hopes, concerns, and passions, the production and postproduction of “Bully” took about two years to fund.  “Private Violence” was started more than eight years ago.

We think it’s time to move past the national disconnect and acknowledge how intertwined these two issues are.  As early backers of both films,  we believe that violence in the home and bullying in school must be treated as co-equals.  They are inextricably linked, and the data backs it up. A 2011 CDC study told us that kids who witness violence in the home are more likely to be bullied, and more likely to become bullies themselves. http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/mm6015a1.htm

It’s time to  see that the first time some children see or witness violence is not in the school yard.  It’s where they live. Over 8 million children were exposed to family violence in the last year alone.

As we advocate that prevention should start with kids, let’s not forget that bullying prevention education can be paired with the critical piece of age appropriate relationship violence awareness programs  and can change the attitudes and behavior of young people as they enter adulthood.

Research now  looks at possible links between bullying and dating violence. Prevent

Connect cites the following, Young  adolescents who perpetrate bullying become involved in romantic relationships earlier than those who do not bully, and are more likely to report verbal and physical aggression in their earliest intimate relationships” (Josephson and Pepler, 2012)

Bullying is universal and non- gender specific. Who doesn’t relate to being bullied at some time in their life? Family First Aid reports that about 30 percent of teenagers in the U.S. have been involved in bullying, either as a bully or as a victim and we’ve all seen it, either as a victim, a perpetrator, or a witness. That’s a frightening number.  Too many children are a part of this.

However,  according to partners at Futures without Violence, “approximately one in three adolescent girls in the United States is a victim of physical, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner – a figure that mirrors victimization rates for other types of violence affecting youth.” http://www.futureswithoutviolence.org/resources-events/get-the-facts/

Gloria Steinem, an early supporter and Executive Producer of  “Private Violence”, has suggested that the term “domestic violence” should be changed to “original violence. “ It’s what makes people feel that it’s inevitable or that it’s normal or both”, she said. “If you have violence in the home then it normalizes it everywhere else.”

Dickens’  quote “it was the best of times, it was the worst of times” could describe what we, in the violence prevention movement, feel today.  As many strides as we’ve made, we still have a long way to go. Linking violence in its many forms and helping kids, educators, and families connect those dots is vital.  As a Futures Without Violence ad campaign suggested, “Teach them early, teach them often.” With dating violence and bullying prevention, teach them together.

 

 

 

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Dear Media, Can We Quit Saying “Domestic Dispute”?

November 4th, 2013

Updated March 18, 2024

These aren’t domestic disputes, they are about criminals attacking crime victims”    Anne Jones, Author of “Next Time She’ll Be Dead

This caught my eye a few years back.

The  headline read, MAN ARRESTED IN DOMESTIC DISPUTE“.  

It went on to describe the case of a 30 year old man who strangled his girlfriend until she passed out several times over a two day period, and left her hospitalized with numerous internal injuries and bleeding.

Is this a “dispute?”  And is this type of headline unusual?  Not so much.  The word is still used widely, as are the equally bad terms “domestic disturbance”,  and”domestic altercation”. Even worse is “crime of passion” or my personal non- favorite “love triangle”.

I’m with the Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence Alliance when they say this in their site’s media education literature, “A dispute is akin to a disagreement or argument; it implies equal power. Intimate partner violence, on the other hand, is a serious, cyclical pattern of abuse and unhealthy behavior meant to control an individual. Referring to such incidents as “domestic disputes” takes away from its seriousness. It also implies an isolated incident, rather than a pattern of abuse. Call it domestic violence or intimate partner violence.”   

Here’s just a sample of headlines I’ve run across in the past 24 hours from March 17th and 18th 2024: The first from Clarendon Hills, Illinois was just about the worst. “A person died in a domestic disturbance”. No, the person was murdered.

CLARENDON HILLS, IL – A person died in a domestic disturbance Saturday morning in unincorporated Clarendon Hills, the DuPage County Sheriff’s Office said.

A woman died after being shot in ‘domestic incident’ in Orange County, Sheriff’s Office says

A woman died after being shot in ‘domestic incident’ in Orange County, Sheriff’s Office says

Dolphins star Tyreek Hill had alleged domestic dispute in January, vows to clean up off-field behavior

Madison Police Dept. arrest suspect for alleged domestic disturbance involving knife

There are hundreds, if not thousands of those headlines and leads to be found.   These are not bad people writing these stories.  My husband, a former journalist, tells me that he was trained to use the term “domestic dispute”. as are many print and broadcast journalists who could use some additional education in how we refer to the hundreds of thousands of incidents and the thousands killed each year in this country alone.  These are violent crimes and some are murders. Some facts…

Safe Horizon | Domestic Violence Statistics & Facts

National Domestic Violence Statistics

  • 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will experience severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. (CDC, 2017)
  • 1 in 10 women in the United States will be raped by an intimate partner in her lifetime. (CDC, 2010)
    • Approximately 16.9% of women and 8.0% of men will experience sexual violence other than rape by an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime. (CDC, 2010)
      • Data on sexual violence against men may be underreported.
    • An estimated 9.7% of women and 2.3% of men have been stalked by an intimate partner during their lifetime. (CDC, 2017)
    • Nearly half of all women and men in the United States will experience psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime. (CDC, 2017)
    • Over half of female and male victims of rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner experienced some form of intimate partner violence for the first time before 25 years of age. (CDC, 2010)

Knowing that, can we move to writing and reporting about it with the harsh reality in mind?  There is a good bit of material I found today from the Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance that could help.  http://www.vsdvalliance.org/#/public-policy-media.

As my friend and colleague Kit Gruelle, a subject, advocate, and special adviser to the HBO documentary “Private Violence” said to me in commenting on this story, “Using the proper terminology, even if it is difficult to do, will force us to grow up and see this violence in all it’s horror.”  Amen to that, Kit.

 Let’s  not soften these horrendous crimes by misnaming them.  Let’s call them what they are.
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Daisy Coleman and the Scarlet Letter

October 16th, 2013

Daisy Coleman

At the end of the day, what’s so frustrating and dismaying—about this story, as well as the others I mentioned earlier—is this pattern….The girls become pariahs. They wear the scarlet letters of our time.”  Emily Bazelon

We’ve heard it all before in the past year.  There was the  brutal and recorded rape case in Steubenville, Ohio in March of 2013. In April, 2013 we heard of suicide victim Rehaeh Parsons’ case of an alleged gang rape in Nova Scotia.  Now, the past few days, we have the case of  a Daisy Coleman, a 14 year old  girl whose family was driven from their home following her alleged rape by a politically connected  young man who was never prosecuted.

The details in the case are emerging.   The Kansas City Star tells of a family led by a widowed mother and her four children, who were essentially bullied out of Maryville, Missouri, after Daisy told her mother of her assault by a 17 year old football player Matthew Barnett,  grandson of former MO State Representative Rex Barnett.   Despite compelling evidence,  charges were dropped against Barnett and another 17-year-old accused of recording the sexual encounter on an iPhone.   http://www.kansascity.com/2013/10/12/4549775/nightmare-in-maryville-teens-sexual.html,

Melinda Coleman, Daisy’s mother, a veterinarian and widow of a doctor who was killed in a car accident six years earlier, was fired from her job at Maryville’s Southpaws Veterinary Clinic. Daisy  was suspended from her high school’s cheerleading team, suffered depression and had a suicide attempt.  The whole family, including Daisy’s brothers,  suffered vile attacks on social media from both kids and adults, and in a bizarre finale to their nightmare, their house in Maryville, by then for sale as the family had moved, burned down.

We know that victim blaming is a powerful and potent weapon used to discourage reporting of sexual assaults.  That fact is as old as time.  I went to high school in the early 70’s, and knew victims of rape, who would never come forward, and now they never will. No one wanted to go through the ordeal.  There are thousands of Daisy Coleman’s of all generations out there, but she and her family came forward.  What they reportedly went through goes even beyond the term “victim blaming’ into a different realm.  We now see the victim as a pariah.

Emily Bazelon, who is quoted above, reference’s Nathaniel Hawthorne’s famously told story of Hester Prynne in the 1850 classic  “The Scarlet Letter” in a recent piece in Slate. http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/10/14/maryville_rape_case_the_horrifying_details_of_what_happened_to_daisy_coleman.html. The book is not a tale of rape, but it is a story of a good woman from Salem Massachusetts in 1642, who becomes pregnant by the town pastor and is shunned by her community. As punishment for being found guilty of adultery, she must wear a scarlet “A” on her dress as a sign of shame.  In a particularly harrowing scene, she is forced to stand on the scaffold for three hours, exposed to public humiliation.  The dynamics are vastly different in the cases of Daisy and Hester, yet both are made pariahs, both are shunned, both take the blame.

After the Steubenville case, I wrote a piece for Huffington Post, called “The Upstanders”.  I lamented the fact that bystanders did nothing.  In that case, and in this case, though, it went beyond doing nothing.  Community members that could have been a support system actively targeted the victims and the victim’s families. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/cindy-waitt/the-upstanders_b_2994409.html

Considering this horrific new story of Daisy and her family, I was happy to see that, once again,  the army of social media, an army that can serve as tormentor as well to the Daisy Coleman’s, has begun to stand up on the right side.   A Facebook page is up and running, hundreds of stories like this one are appearing, and there is a twitter stampede starting, even backed again, as in Steubenville, by the group Anonymous.

We can no longer do nothing, we can do something, even if it’s just to sign our name in support of a young girl and her family, who never should have had to suffer this brutal crime, nor it’s hideous aftermath.

Update 10/15/2013: The Lieutenant Governor is calling for a grand jury..

Sadly, I update this story… January 7, 2014  http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/she-the-people/wp/2014/01/07/daisy-coleman-alleged-rape-victim-attempts-suicide-again/

And again…. January 9, 2014.   http://www.cbsnews.com/news/daisys-mom-disappointed-over-charge-in-maryville-case/

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The Terrorist Next Door

October 10th, 2013

 

Too many victims

If the numbers we see in domestic violence were applied to terrorism or gang violence, the entire country would be up in arms,and it would be the lead story on the news every night.”– Rep. Mark Green

Terrorism is defined as ” the systematic use of violent terror as a means of coercion”.   We tend to define terrorists by incident- the September 11 attackers, the Boston bombers, the Oklahoma City bombers, the group behind the  Kenyan mall attack, and on.    The horrific September 11th, 2001 attacks gave rise to what we now call “the war on terror”, a war that may never end. September 11th also gave rise to a United States Government Department of Homeland Security.   Between FY 2001 – FY2009, $850 billion was spent on the War on Terror, according to this source. http://useconomy.about.com/od/usfederalbudget/f/War_on_Terror_Facts.htm. After over 3,000 citizens were killed that day, our elected leaders understandably pledged to do everything in their power to keep our citizens safe.

And yet, consider the millions of victims who are terrorized each day, and terrorized where they live.   Here’s a snapshot of the national landscape 

  • 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will experience severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. (CDC, 2017)
  • 1 in 10 women in the United States will be raped by an intimate partner in her lifetime. (CDC, 2010)
    • Approximately 16.9% of women and 8.0% of men will experience sexual violence other than rape by an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime. (CDC, 2010)
      • Data on sexual violence against men may be underreported.
  • An estimated 9.7% of women and 2.3% of men have been stalked by an intimate partner during their lifetime. (CDC, 2017)
  • Nearly half of all women and men in the United States will experience psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime. (CDC, 2017)
  • Over half of female and male victims of rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner experienced some form of intimate partner violence for the first time before 25 years of age. (CDC, 201

Representative Green’s opening statement speaks volumes in how we see and deal with the perpetrators and victims of  family violence. The people who commit these acts are criminals, though they are usually called “perpetrators”.  But, there’s more to this.  If terror is “the systematic use of violent terror as a means of coercion”, then let’s call these people what they are. Terrorists.

 Lucy Berrington, in a Women’s E-News report in 2012, said this,  “Domestic abuse is a form of terrorism that comes from within our society, resulting in mass casualties and extremely high costs.  But for it’s victims, no big budget homeland security effort exists. “  

She’s got that right.  Others agree.

“Framing domestic abuse as ‘everyday terrorism’ helps us understand how fear works,” said Rachel Pain, the author of an English study called  “Everyday Terrorism: How Fear Works in Domestic Abuse”.

Not only do the victims of both forms of terrorism share the same painful consequences–the terrorists use the same tactics,” said Trese Todd, president of  a Seattle nonprofit that addresses domestic violence.

In my years working in violence prevention, talking to survivors, advocates, and educators, I realize that they all are saying the same thing.  The dynamics of intimate partner violence are eerily similar to the dynamics of terrorism , and they all know it and speak to it.  The tactics used by abusers are addressed in our new documentary “Private Violence”, a film that finally brings answers to the age old question, “why doesn’t she leave”?  She and her children are being terrorized, that’s why.

I’m choosing to re frame the conversation and remember that terrorists don’t always hijack planes and don’t always come equipped with bombs capable of mass destruction.  Their weapons may differ, but they are terrorists, and they are in your town, they are on your street, and they may be just next door.

For more on what you can do to help prevent violence see http://www.futureswithoutviolence.org/section/get_involved/.

If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

If you are being hurt by your partner, it is NOT your fault. You deserve to be safe and healthy. For help and information anytime, contact:

National Domestic Violence Hotline

www.ndvh.org 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
TTY 1-800-787-3224

National Sexual Assault Hotline

www.rainn.org 
1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline

www.loveisrespect.org 
1-866-331-9474
TTY 1-866-331-8453

 

 

 

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