The Grown Up
Eric and me…2011
In 2009, at 52, I found myself suddenly single. It felt right, and I was starting to get more used to being alone, and I’d done a lot of work on myself. And yet, I got to thinking that now that I’d grown up a bit, I wouldn’t mind having someone else to share the ride of life with me.
So, I did what some other intuitive people I’d heard about do, when they were ready, and the time was right. I made a list. The list of qualities you’d like in a partner looks different in your 50’s, and happily so. I’d had enough time to know what I DIDN’T want. That went on the list. And then I really thought about what I DID want. I thought I’d lost it, but I came across it recently. I’d typed it up on parchment paper, added a personal touch or two, and put it in my kitchen window. Then I waited on the universe to bring it. The universe did bring it, about two months later.
Notice the add- on at the end, which should have been a no brainer. And taller than me?, that’s different, and it’s not that I don’t like kids, I just don’t want to raise any more. And I don’t really call them kiddie winkies, my friend does. She’s English and they talk funny.
After playing Wendy to a whole crew of Peter Pans, complete with the Lost Boys, I wanted someone who had earned his big boy pants and felt comfortable wearing them. One of the first things I said to him early on in the courtship was “you’re a grown up”. And he replied, “That’s one of the nicest things anyone ever said to me.” I liked that, and I liked him. A lot.
Today is our 2nd wedding anniversary, and as much as I sometimes wish he’d shown up in our twenties, I don’t think he was supposed to. So, I went to my computer this morning and got this little document from him.
Dearest Love
This paean goes out to the one who has made my life complete. Never before has a man felt as fortunate as I. You have made me a whole man because you are a whole woman. Your tenderness and understanding far exceeds my inherent worth, yet there you are with arms outstretched, always will to embrace me despite my faults and shortcomings. For me, I couldn’t have scripted a better way to complete my life than spending the rest of it with you.
Happy Anniversary
Now, that’s one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to ME. He IS a grown up, he’s the love of my life, and…see number 19, he can write too.
Happy Anniversary Cindy! You said something to me one time and I doubt you remember but I am going to repeat it now because it was one of my favorite pieces of advice. Michelle and I were talking with you one night at a bar in Sioux City after we flew in with Ted for the Darrel the Barrel memorial at Rhonda’s! We were all discussing relationships at one point you said, “pick the one you know will push your wheelchair!” 🙂 I loved it and I think I picked exactly the one that will push my chair (hell, he would build it) and you obviously did too!! Enjoy your special day!!! xoxo
The wheel chair pusher….I remember, and it is true. Glad you have your wheelchair pusher, so happy for you! I think I’ll do a post about people who will do that…..
I couldn’t be happier for you both. A healthy, trusted relationship such as this sets the stage for more healthy, happy things to happen in one’s life. All relationships take energy, but to have a joyful one creates even more energy than it takes to make it successful. The relationship I have with my husband, Bill, goes beyond more than anything I could have ever dreamed. It makes my previously gray life technicolor, and that is what I wish for both of you. May love and good fortune follow you every day of your lives.
I love the way you turned gray into technicolor. Relationships take energy but give back more. Indeed. I think relationships like yours were my role model, it just came later in life…xo
Happy Anniversary my dear friends. Beloved and souls that belong. Grow together to infinity—dear ones.
Thank you Reba, I like the infinity plan!